Q&A Can Cuddling with His Roommate Be Platonic?

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My partner told me he was confused about his sexuality, that he had had erotic thoughts about men, but that he thought it was left over cognitive effects of a former pornography addiction. He felt a lot of shame about this, and his confusion was very distressing. He disclosed this information to me and said that he would still be faithful to me, and would choose me forever, we were preparing to be engaged. We did end up getting engaged, and six months later he told me that he had been cuddling with his roommate, a man and a friend who leans toward sexual addiction. I was very hurt and confused, convinced that this meant he was actually gay and would end up leaving me for a man. In a traumatic reaction, I broke off our engagement. I am now in the Harboring Hope course, my partner and I are working through the Bootcamp, and we are trying to figure out what our next steps may be. I am still trying to wrap my head around the cuddling... He said it was a platonic form of affection between the two of them. Can this be true?



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Platonic hugging

How much heartache are wanting? Even before deciding to go forward with an intimate relationship with this person, ask yourself what am I thinking? You thinking that your bottomless love for him will make him forget his own desires for connecting with another male? Round up your support people and turn 180 degrees and run out of this lifetime of heartache. Do your own healing work for yourself going forward. Starting out with a relationship where you know that when the tough times come, and they will, who will he turn to? It’s not going to be you. Let go of the dream that you can overcome this incredibly difficult situation and LEAVE sooner than later.

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