Q&A Can You Further Explain Compartmentalization?
To view this content please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.
Question
In dealing with the revelations of what has occurred during my husband’s affair, I struggle immensely with the subject of compartmentalization. My husband took my teen daughter to breakfast on their way home from visiting family. She discovered the affair before I did, and at this point was eavesdropping as my husband sent texts to me. Our text conversation can be summed up as this: he told me good morning, I can’t wait to see you, please send me a picture of your beautiful face, I can’t wait to hold you, and on and on. He had been with the affair partner all night about 7 hours earlier. At the SAME time he was texting me, he was having almost an identical text conversation with the AP. Beyond the obvious anger and disgust I felt when this was discovered (and dealing with my daughter’s trauma), I also feel like this takes lying and manipulation to another planet. Here’s the kicker: I think he meant what he said to me. I could list numerous other examples where he was a caring and loving person while simultaneously being the opposite. I think us betrayed spouses struggle to understand compartmentalization. Can you explain this mindset further?
What type of affair was it?
Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer
What to read next
Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp
Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.

