Q&A Can You Provide Me with Objective Perspective?

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My husband cheated on me for 7 years. This is bad enough but what I struggle with most is how he behaved towards me during his infidelity years. He was contemptuous. He was nasty. He was angry. He was absent. I cannot unread the e-mails I read at D-Day. He wrote to the AP that our relationship was dead. He wrote to her that she totally did it for him in every way … her body shape etc. He wrote to her that I was conniving, mean spirited, over weight. He wrote to her that he loved her, desired her. He wrote to her that I was lazy and spent all his money. I look at photographs of my husband during his years of infidelity and I see a liar and a cheat. I look at photos of me during this time and I remember how I totally trusted him and said many times – ‘My husband would NEVER cheat on me’. This was my belief system. The things he wrote about me were not true … During this time I worked part time as a college lecturer. I worked part time as a high school supply teacher. I gained two Masters Degrees. I changed my career from teaching to qualifying as a registered psychotherapist. I always made sure I was available to my now grown up children who were living at home at the time. I was always available emotionally, physically and sexually to my husband throughout our marriage before D-Day. I suppose my question is … is all the above what I still need to forgive him for? Can you please provide me with an objective perspective of all the above.



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