Q&A Do You Have Advice for Those Who Divorce after Infidelity?

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Question: 

My spouse announced he was leaving me out of the blue, and I discovered through lots of questions and some snooping that he was in an emotionally entangled affair and that he was leaving me for the affair partner. He refused to get counseling or even discuss the possibility of working things out, yet believes that he did his best and made the best decision for both of us, despite my objections. D-Day was a year ago and our divorce has been final for about 6 months, and I am still struggling, in part because it was all very unexpected and in part because I feel a lot of conflicted emotions about him and his actions. We don't have children (even though we were trying to get pregnant throughout his affair and up to his announcement), so I have the "blessing" of being able to devote my energies to my own recovery. What are some good ways to work on letting go of all of this and moving on? How can I do the work needed to heal so that I can open up to someone new? My trust has been so violated that it sometimes seems hard to imagine a different future.

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