Q&A How Can I Get Past this Lifelong Belief System?

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Question: 

I am struggling with feeling like I can’t overcome what my husband did with her because of my beliefs about sex. I believe that when you give yourself to someone sexually, it’s forever; it can't be undone or taken back. You will always be tied to that person because God created sex to bond us in a unique way. That’s why my husband is the only person I have been with sexually and it was/is really important to me. There were times where that bond was what kept me going. I understand that you can be forgiven for mistakes, and I have the utmost desire in my heart to forgive him and move forward (I feel that our marriage is overall much better now than before the affair), but the consequences of that broken covenant are still there. I feel like he is always going to have a piece of her and she is going to have a piece of him, and I don't want to live with any part of her. I don't want to live my life without him but I want to leave her behind. I don't want her to have any power over me. The way I am thinking is giving her power over me, but these have been my beliefs long before this occurred. I don't know if they are incorrect or not. This is one of my major hang-ups. I don't know if I need to further grieve the loss and it will get better over time (excruciating!), or understand it better from a Biblical perspective, or just readjust my belief system. It is very confusing and painful for me to think about.

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