Q&A How Can I Regain a Healthy World View Again towards Men?

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My husband had an 8 year affair with a then 24 year old college girl. He was 48 at the time and I was 46. We are 21 months out from D-Day. I have been able to progressively forgive and actually understand that his affair wasn’t about her or sex. It was more that he has a praise addiction and received so much affirmation from her as he is an undercover police officer. We have been through EMS Online and we are currently doing Married for Life. I have been in some counseling even with brain spotting and I have recently joined Harboring Hope. My question is more geared to men in general than my husband’s affair. I need to heal my world view of men. I have fleeting trust in men now...even men whom I have known for years in our church...feeling that they are secretly covering up their inner most thoughts and lusting after women...especially younger women. I am in a profession where I work one-on-one with patients and although I am 56 years old, I would consider myself pretty “ok”. I am so more observant now of men’s actions and where their eyes linger and notice this actually happening to me in my work. Although I guess it’s nice to feel visually accepted, at the same time it is disgusting...especially if this older man is with his wife. Do men ever grow up? I just feel like all men and even older men in 70’s and 80’s just walk around lusting all day. I hate feeling this way and wish I could be my old self where those thoughts never enter my head and I just see beauty in all people.



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