Q&A How Can We Safely be Sexually Intimate Again After the Affair?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


D-Day was about 18 months ago. I've set boundaries since then, but about 5 months ago, I set a boundary that resulted in my husband moving out. He returned a few weeks later, and says he agreed to two conditions: he had to cut off all inappropriate relationships and he had to agree to complete marital counseling. He agreed and we're doing ems online. I have told my husband that I can't be sexually intimate with him until he makes a full, voluntary disclosure. He is afraid of my anger and hasn't yet done it. I think sexual intimacy would be very helpful for him in terms of providing comfort and security and helping him open up. I just can't bring myself to go there until he does open up. So it's a chicken and egg problem. It's been about a year that we haven't had sexual intimacy (first because I was pregnant and then post-partum, and now because of the boundary I've drawn). How do we resolve this dilemma?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas