Q&A How Do I Heal and Move Forward in My Marriage Without Knowing Why He Made Those Choices?

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I really struggle with not knowing why the affair happened and my husband is unable to come up with his "why". My husband and I were childhood and high school sweethearts. After both going through divorce from our first spouses, we reconnected and agreed that our feelings for one another had never disappeared and were stronger now than either of us had experienced in our previous marriages. We both expressed deep gratitude to God and each other for being given a second chance. In my husband's first marriage, he was the betrayed spouse. I am the only person on the planet that he has ever cheated on. If he really loves me and feels such a strong bond with me like he says, it doesn't seem possible that the affair could have happened while we were literally still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. So because there was an affair, how can he really love me? It seems impossible that both could exist in the same reality. How do I heal and move forward in my marriage without knowing why he made those choices?



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This was a really great

This was a really great question and it resounded with me greatly. My SO was also the betrayed in his previous marriage and also stated that he loved me more than he had ever loved anyone, yet he carried on a nine month affair with someone. While this helps to understand a little bit of the why, it doesn't help my heart heal from this wound.

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