Q&A How Do I Work on the Marriage with an Unfaithful Wife That Won't Do Recovery Work?

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How do I work on the marriage with an unfaithful wife that won't do recovery work? She won't watch videos, participate in the boot camp or attend the EMS Weekend. She has not given me any discloser. I only know what I've pieced together. I've been doing EMDR for a couple months. I haven't slept without OTC meds for of 3 years. FYI our relationship started as an affair, summer of 1989. She was just out of college and I was just out of high school. Her husband had cheated about 1 year earlier. I knew his family, his dad & grandpa were lifelong cheaters. Either way, I'm her 2nd husband and now she's cheated in both marriages. We both had alcoholic fathers, but her childhood was much worse than mine. I am still sure she loves me even though she rarely has ever said it. In many ways we still have a strong bond, but I can tell one of us is going to break...soon I think. She follows Mort Fertel's emails. I think she'd do his course. If I did something like that, do you think I'd ever get what I need or would it have to be buried? Another FYI - I've learned I'm all 4 horseman, co-dependent, bitter, and have been so long I'm not sure I ever wasn't. So in her defense she's lived with that for 2 decades or more. Please help.



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