Q&A How Important Is It for My Husband to Choose Me versus Need Me?

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Question: 

We're 11 weeks from D-Day. There was a secret transgression at week 5 that I consider our second D-Day. I attempted to kick him out at week 6 on a Sat, but he came back Sun refusing to leave. We realized that both of us are beyond scared and our anger at each other was the result of fear. I asked him to stay Sun, even though the affair partner was asking him to spend the night with her. On that Mon, he spent the night in a hotel. It was hard for both of us to be apart. On that Tue, he was in so much pain, trying to make his decision. I told him I could tell from his behaviors that he had already chosen us, me and our kids, that he couldn't leave us. It took two more days to finally cut off direct contact with the AP at the end of week 7. He still has social media access, pictures, etc. He admits that he still thinks about the AP, looks at pictures, checks her social media and isn't sure where we (our marriage) are going. We completed Bootcamp which took 6 weeks and I’m just starting HH. I fear that I accepted his “need” instead of forcing him to choose, which ultimately is setting myself up for future hurt and failure of our marriage. How do I ensure he's choosing me?

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