Q&A What is Protocol for a Couple in this Post Affair Scenario?

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To wear your wedding ring or not? The flux back and forth of emotions truly leaves me dizzy (I'm sure him too). So this stranger we call, husband is to mourn & grieve his affair relationship. "Don't rush this" is the wise & ever constant counsel. But what do we do in the meantime? Getting over being repulsed by the fact that he's done everything with another woman that he's ever done with you is a BIG step. When you're there and he's still grieving, who knows for how long that will be, 6 months, a year?? Do you touch him, hold hands, kiss? Sadly for me, even before discovering his wicked, little affair, my libido has increased with my age. (I'm 39, married 14.5 years.) And my love languages are first physical touch, and then quality time. What is the protocol for being a couple again? Wanting to be in his arms, and then worrying if he's emotionally ready is torture! We've been intimate since (each) of the disclosures, but the most painful part is him sleeping on the couch, and not sharing our bed. We don't know the line between going back to things as "usual," and starting anew. I knows he's scared, so his caution is good, but it leaves me feeling ever lonely and insecure.



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