Q&A Is My Unfaithful Husband Now Addicted to God?

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Question: 

I am a betrayed spouse married to a sex addict whose addictions have included trysts with gay men, a total obsession with pornography and possible (likely, though he denies it), physical or emotional affairs with women at work. His addictive and obsessive nature is so self-absorbed, that it recently came out in counseling that he wasn’t even aware that I have slept on our sofa for at least 8-1/2 out of the past 11 years. In recent years, he has turned to God. At first I was grateful. He was making some significant changes in his life. He’d refrained from porn for a short time, then returned to it with a vengeance. When he wasn’t all consumed in graduate-level Bible studies, he relieved himself with porn, both extremes having started out as small dalliances and growing exponentially into full-blown obsessions. As of last November, my husband is no longer in the house at my request. I suggested he go through his pastor to get counseling for the porn – and whatever else he was still doing – which he agreed to do. Long story short, his fourteen-week class on Men’s Purity seemed to relieve some of the issues with sex addictions, but he has replaced porn and sex with God, and with the same addiction-level obsession, to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. So much so, that he will not listen to me without running everything through his pastor (who is in no way a friend to me; quite the contrary, in fact). Am I going crazy? Am I reading too much into this? Am I seeing the boogeyman where there isn’t one? Or has my husband taken the same obsessive approach to God as he has his other addictions? If so, is it healthy? I love and worship and lean in to God hard (especially these days), but I feel as though I have been put in the most precarious position of now looking at God as my husband’s newest affair partner.

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