Q&A How Is Recovery Different If the Porn Addiction Is Same Sex?

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Question: 

We’ve identified that the affair was sexual addiction to porn that started at a young age and has not involved any affair partners, but the sexual addiction is of homosexual nature. How is the recovery different from other sexual addiction affairs and what does hope look like for this couple who has to walk through one spouse having same sex attraction? Where can more materials on same sex addiction be found?

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Big thank you for posting!!

Hello! Very thankful to see this post! Not quite the same circumstances but still very relevant to our story. My husband of nearly 27 years has struggled with SSA the majority of his life post sexual abuse when very young. He had never disclosed this to me nor would have ever suspected it until 20 years into marriage, although I did know something was not right with him/us. I don't know that he necessarily struggled with pornography but was very active on dating sites, gay websites, sexting, Craigslist, and had at least several, possibly many, physical connections over the span of at least 5 years before I discovered it. We are 6.5 years from initial discovery in and husband is still refusing to get help for his troubles or our marriage. He said he no longer struggles with it and we need to just move on. After all the deceitfulness and lying, I am having trouble reconciling, although I believe I have forgiven him. We are scheduled to go through the EMS weekend in June but feel we will need much more help than that. Although I definitely agree that compassion is a must in these circumstances, I believe that having too much compassion has hampered our healing. We have four young adult children who know nothing of this (I have tried very hard to protect him and them); however, I am positive they know things haven't been right in our marriage over the past 10 years. I don't necessarily think he is still acting out but am not comfortable moving forward with our marital relationship until his wounds have been addressed and healed. He will not (or cannot?) talk about his past trauma. I really, really want to save and restore our marriage, but short of him being able to open up to help, do you believe there is hope? Again, thank you!

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