Q&A What Are the Best Boundaries to Make When My Husband and I Are Having a Discussion about My Healing and He Starts to Get Really Angry?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


He has not been violent but he yells and cusses at me. I don't think he is even aware how bad he sounds. He has watched the videos and he is in the Hope for Healing group. He says he's had a "heart change" and wants to participate in my healing. We are two years since D-day. Neither one of us knew that he was supposed to be participating in healing himself, the marriage and even helping me. But we ran across a YouTube video and he immediately got on board. But his anger is so close to the surface that I cannot talk to him about my fears for the future or my inhibitions with our sex life without him starting to unravel. So do I leave the house and go to a hotel? Do I yell back at him so he can hear what he is sounding like? I have even thought of discreetly pushing the record button on my video camera on my phone during the conversation and letting him listen to it later. But that would likely trigger his anger all over again. I don't think he would cooperate with a time-out clause. He's not getting the point that yelling at me does not make me feel safer with him.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas