What can I do to help reduce the frequency of intrusive imagery in my mind about my wife's infidelity? What are some things I can do to help me once they occur? And should I share these thoughts with my spouse? How do I communicate what is going on with me in a way that doesn't seem to be blaming, accusatory, or shame inducing in her? She knows what she did is wrong, and is really trying to heal herself, me, and our marriage. I am very grateful to her for her hard work and dedication to that. I don't want to make her feel shameful every time I have an image of her and him together. It is especially common when we are having sex for me to have these images. I don't want to hide my feelings, but also don't want to beat hers up.