Q&A What Does Forgiveness Look like after Multiple Relapses?

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My husband of 5 years had an emotionally entangled sexual affair for the last 18 months. Our D-Day was in March of 2017 but we have had several relapses since then. We are both working on individual recovery and trying to rebuild the marriage. My dad and his mom's initial responses to learning about our situation were "Oh, no! We don't know what to do so we are going to tell everyone we know and ask them to pray." So a situation that I would have liked to have been selective about sharing is public knowledge from Texas to Tennessee. Thankfully the support and response has been helpful and people have generally extended grace. In a recent conversation with my dad I was trying to explain my fears of my family and friends not being able to forgive my husband should the marriage continue. In this conversation I shared my own journey of forgiving my husband, noting that it is a process that I am committed to but wanted to make sure I fully understood the implications so it took time. My dad noted that he did not see that concept of forgiveness as being consistent with the way that Jesus and God forgive us. He said that the scriptural model for forgiveness is instantaneous. Could you share more about how HH/AR's views of forgiveness align with scripture? Also, I went through a deeply sacred healing act of forgiving my husband on our anniversary of D-Day this year, to reclaim that day in my journey, as our "Deliverance Day". At the time, I did not know about my husband's continued contact and encounters with his AP. What does forgiveness look like now, after multiple relapses that are exposed not confessed? I am at a loss of how to do this process again and again since it was so hard initially.



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