Q&A At What Point Do You Give up on Your Spouse?

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Question: 

In a few days, my wife and I will be in the temporary orders hearing of divorce court by her choosing. She has no remorse, no regret and feels no responsibility for the pain or neglect she has caused our four children. Although she has verbally insisted the long-lasting, online affair is over since filing for divorce six months ago, she feels no need to demonstrate this supposed fact to me, and she can't tell me when it ended or why it ended. Based on circumstantial evidence, subtle admissions and her lack of interest in her own family, I feel that it is fairly likely that the almost two-year, all-consuming emotional affair is going strong. Because of her shame, internal conflict and pain, she has transformed me into a monster in her own mind. At this point I feel that all is lost and that she is unreachable by human action. She says she doesn't love me and I believe it. I've run several marathons and I know what it means to fight to the end and push through the difficult times, but I am also preparing to let her go since this is what she is so strongly pushing for. For the both of you, at what point did you give up on your ex-spouses? Was it during a phase of the divorce?

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Give up

It was only by giving up and handing my husband over to his AP that the scales fell from his eyes. Someone said if they are yours let them go and they will come back to you. If they don’t they were never yours in the first place. Don’t protect her from the consequences of her choices and listen to God - He will tell you in your heart whether to keep a crack open to reconciliation- but all your wife needs to know is you are listening to her and respecting her choices. You will be happier without her or with her fully so don’t be fearful - be brave!

Give up

It was only by giving up and handing my husband over to his AP that the scales fell from his eyes. Someone said if they are yours let them go and they will come back to you. If they don’t they were never yours in the first place. Don’t protect her from the consequences of her choices and listen to God - He will tell you in your heart whether to keep a crack open to reconciliation- but all your wife needs to know is you are listening to her and respecting her choices. You will be happier without her or with her fully so don’t be fearful - be brave!