My wife has an alcohol use disorder combined with an anxiety disorder treated with antidepressants and benzodiazepines. She is still drinking but making some effort towards recovery. Generally she is too anxious, depressed, or drinking to have a sustained meaningful conversation about us, the affairs and the effects on our children- or simply an adult conversation. She generally become defensive or makes untrue or illogical arguments. She refuses direct treatment for her AUD. At what point is repair work, healing, and reconciliation attempts futile under these circumstances?