Q&A What Should I Do about My Wayward Spouse's Regression during Recovery?

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Our D-Day was October 2019. The first 2 months we went to intensive individual and marriage counseling. I felt like progress was being made, empathy was starting to be shown, and my wife was getting to the bottom of the issues that led her to have the 6 month affair. She has seen multiple therapists that have diagnosed her as either borderline personality disorder, addictive personality disorder, cannot self-soothe and needs others to validate her, or affected by childhood trauma. Unfortunately, after a family vacation with her family, she has returned stating she wants to take a break from therapy until I am ready to work on the relationship and have moved on from the affair -- only wanting to focus on the future, not the past. Therapy to date has suggested how she was raised contributed to her need to seek validation and accolades from the affair partner since she did not feel she was getting it from me. I feel the empathy is gone and unsafe around her. What suggestions do you have for how to treat the apparent regression by my wife in her recovery? Do I just focus on myself for now and then revisit this in a couple of months?



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