Q&A When Faced with Such a Painful Outcome as This, What Is a Spouse Able to Do Aside from Self-Care and Healing?

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After 11 years in a relationship, 8 years married, my wife blindsided me with a sudden letter asking for a divorce. In it she proclaimed she didn't love me anymore and perhaps never did. I began fighting to save the marriage but it pushed her further and further away. 4 months later, I discover she's been having an affair with a co-worker. It was completely devastating. When she realized I knew, she confessed. But instead of apologizing, she said it was my fault and she loved her affair partner and was choosing him. She's been gone for over a month now and the pain is unbearable. I know without a doubt she is suffering from limerence but I feel so helpless and stuck with no move and most importantly, no hope. When faced with such a painful outcome as this, what is a spouse able to do aside from self-care and healing? Is there any chance of sobriety from her limerence? Will it be too late? I love my wife and never expected this.



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