Q&A Why Won't My Mate Touch Me?

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Question: 

My husband had an affair for over 6 years. He was living with her 24/7 for the past year. He moved back into the house about a week ago, after meeting some non-negotiable conditions. Since he's been home he hasn't wanted to touch me at all, but while we're lying in bed reading our books before sleeping. I think this is an important way to connect, but he doesn't want anything to do with it. He says it's because he "feels like shit" since starting the program. How can his shame equate to not wanting to even touch arms for a few minutes in bed, even though he knows that that little bit of contact with him will help me feel safe? Or do you think he's probably lying and is thinking of his affair partner and doesn't want to "do that" to her?

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