Expert Q&A Preview: How Can I Give My Wife Hope after Betraying Her So Deeply?


Dear Rick,

I have betrayed my wife in the worst way possible. I have had a 1 year affair with her sister over two years ago. I wanted to stop it right away but her sister threatened to tell my wife and I was too scared to tell the truth. My wife found out a year and a half ago. The affair stopped and I have zero interest in my affair partner. We have only found Affair Recovery in the last few months and I feel like the counselling we received previously wasn't helpful. I can't help but feel we've wasted value time before finding you. I love my wife and want desperately to be the man she deserves but she is ambivalent at best. She keeps trying for the kids but she won't drop her guard. She says she will never trust me again and doesn't think she even wants to do a couples weekend. I'm so confused because I love her so much but have hurt her so badly. I desperately want to change and spend the rest of our lives happy together. I can't get through to her Rick. I see the happy results from some of your other couples and I long for that but she has lost hope. There must be something still inside of her that I can awaken. There has to be hope. How do I show her there is hope? Thank you



RL_Media Type: 

Add New Comment:



I don't understand how you can recommend "Worthy of Her Trust" as a serious resource. It was the most damaging thing I've read as someone trying to regain my spouses trust. It says, "She doesn't want to trust you. She wants to trust a new man, not the fraud you sold yourself out to be." In the area of building trust it says that you should not expect your wife to believe any attempt to build trust is "genuine, sincere, or permanent." It even says what men pray for is counterproductive. So in essence she wants to ditch me for someone else, any effort to gain trust is a lost cause, and beyond that prayer is even worthless. It's an awful book, and gave me zero hope for restoration.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas