He all but loathes me at this point. Every movie, commercial, song, comment made, etc is being tied back to what I have done and what kind of "evil person I am". He tells me that he cannot find any reason to respect me, trust me and that I am his enemy. I betrayed him and lied about it. I have given him everything that I can possibly remember and I have been accountable for every move I make. He knows that I want to save our marriage, but he thinks I have a motive and it's not my true feelings or desire. It is very hard to stay positive with him and I can totally understand why he feels the way he does. He also had an affair and numerous one night stands. I was told about them because he doesn't lie and was never going to break up our family. I never did anything about it. I just let it continue. I know in the eyes of God that there is no difference in what we both did but in the eyes of the world, my husband and quite frankly myself, there is a difference. My husbands choices didn't make me choose to dishonor my vows. I lied, cheated and was going to leave him. Why? Why did I do such a horrible act? He says I won' t change...leopards and spots never change. I'm in a PIT and can't get out.