Q&A Am I Stuck?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 02/20/2019 - 10:31

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Question: 

We are 22 months from the second D-Day of my husband’s six-year emotional and physical affair with a coworker. So are nearing the “24 month timeline” for recovery. However we are only six months from when we began EMSO and MFL . Both of us or an individual courses me in HH And him in H4H. He feels we should be toward the end of recovery as far as looking back while I see us as truly only being six months Into active recovery. I am still dealing with mild triggers resentment and wanting to know the whys and what his feelings were towards her and me. Am I stuck or just working through it?

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Submitted by [name hidden] on

I don’t feel as though the uncertainty and insecurity was addressed in this video for the betrayed.
I’m 9 weeks out from more disclosure.
This is after more than 2 years of trickle truth and learning about an unbelievably dark underbelly life my UH was/has been involved in.
I required a polygraph 8 weeks before attending EMS Intensive Weekend 11 weeks ago. So many more layers of deception came slowly bubbling out with the polygraph.
I picture a Yellowstone mudpot continuing bubbling without stopping. The new realities just kept bubbling forth. My imagination was no where near as creative as he was in his deception.
Seeing that he was capable of doing this to himself, and now, I am also seeing him attend his weekly SA call, H4H after call, IC phone session and MFL call, I am still very guarded about being vulnerable with him.
I’m in IC and I also participate in HH after calls weekly. Our MFL group has dwindled to 3 couples 7 weeks in, and this is our attendance on the call on a good week.
The triggers keep showing up from places I never thought I would be triggered by.
Hope some days is good, Other days I am hanging by a thread.
How does one allow themselves to be vulnerable once again?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas