Q&A Any Way to Encourage Progress in Our Recovery?

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We’re almost through EMSO and doing Hope for Healing, but still struggling. It's been 20 months since d-day, for example, and my husband still hasn't made a disclosure. He’s attended SAA meetings for about a year, but I've never heard him say he's an addict and I don't think he has a sponsor. Even though he seems to be sober, he doesn't really seem to be in recovery since I don't see him embracing honesty, openness, or a deep willingness to work through the issues. He recently said he doesn't want to reconcile, he doesn’t have a vision for our future, and he just wants each of us to start over with someone new (not recognizing that no matter where he goes, there he is). He moved out before, but came back on the condition I set that he work on the marriage through EMSO and HFH, which sometimes feels real and heartfelt, and sometimes not. He hasn’t moved out again, and he continues to participate in group sessions, but he also says he's only staying together for our recently born son. I don't want separation or divorce but I also don't want to keep living in a state of anxious uncertainty. I cut off physical intimacy until he can voluntarily display some honesty, but I’ve been waiting for months and months, now, and the distance between us just grows. Is there any way to enforce boundaries short of separation and divorce? Is there any way to encourage progress?



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