Q&A Can My Deceitful and Unfaithful Spouse Really Change?

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I realize that my husband was unfaithful for 30 of the 40 years of marriage. When I looked back to the years he was "faithful" it was during a time he was immersed in building his business and was unavailable to his family so it was no different than his affair detachment. I discovered his last affair and we have spent almost 2 years of trickle truthing to the point that I realize he is a passive truth teller (only when asked specifically) and not an active one (willing to come clean without having to be forced). Now he has disclosed the long term affair and 3 short term affairs because I would not let up. Is it possible for someone with such severe intimacy and honesty issues to change? He says  he needs time and sometimes corrects something he told me because he disclosed it the way he chose to justify it at the time. He was very believable and it is impressive how he handled himself with his long term affair in front of me. These last 2 years in which I saw tears and heartfelt disclosures (ended up being lies) have really done a number on me and I really don't know if I should even be involved in trying recovery any more. Can he change or is this hopeless? I just feel numb when I am not raging or crying. I think maybe I didn't notice he changed while having an affair because he was deceitful the entire 40 years.



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What type of affair was it?

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