Rick , last week I asked a question about how to heal without a spouse's empathy https://www.affairrecovery.com/groups/qa-recovery-affair-possible-if-my-mate-cant-be-empathetic . We are 4 years out, have done every class AR offers -EMS twice, even seen you in private therapy. You mentioned that I needed to think before I asked any more questions. My questions are rare now and really have nothing to do with the AP and details about the affair as much as the "why" he did it. This was a 20 Year relationship and deception with the AP, plus 4 years of trickle truth. A new detail came out 4 months ago. My husband’s therapist told him he didn't need to answer any more questions from me especially if I have asked before. Since I see no real empathy, I can only go by actions and I am not seeing much of those either. He never wants to talk about it and never asks me how I am, etc. and gets very angry when I do ask. I see a man who has moved on with no consequences, and I am still here trying to put together the puzzle. How can I heal without empathy, discussion, and fear of angering him?