As a betrayed spouse, it was hard for me to stomach my UH complaining about feeling like I had not been treating him with the respect and admiration he needed. He had the audacity to tell me this during the three month period of trickle truth during which he started out denying any infidelity, then admitted an emotional affair and finally confessed that it had been sexual, too. He disrespected me as his wife with every single secret contact he had with his AP over 8 1/2 months. Every text message and phone call, not to mention when they saw each other and the three occasions they had sex. To me, that added up to thousands of acts of disrespect, all while telling himself that HE felt disrespected. We both fell short on treating each other as we should have before his affair. I was willing to acknowledge my role in making him feel unappreciated—-up until I found out the extent of his betrayal and deception. Now—11 months later, I am just now starting to reach a point in my healing where I can revisit the marital issues that existed before he chose to lie and cheat, rather than address our issues together with honesty, maturity, and mutual respect.
Your wife is a human being. It is unfair to expect the respect from her that you were unwilling to give.

As a betrayed spouse, it was hard for me to stomach my UH complaining about feeling like I had not been treating him with the respect and admiration he needed. He had the audacity to tell me this during the three month period of trickle truth during which he started out denying any infidelity, then admitted an emotional affair and finally confessed that it had been sexual, too. He disrespected me as his wife with every single secret contact he had with his AP over 8 1/2 months. Every text message and phone call, not to mention when they saw each other and the three occasions they had sex. To me, that added up to thousands of acts of disrespect, all while telling himself that HE felt disrespected. We both fell short on treating each other as we should have before his affair. I was willing to acknowledge my role in making him feel unappreciated—-up until I found out the extent of his betrayal and deception. Now—11 months later, I am just now starting to reach a point in my healing where I can revisit the marital issues that existed before he chose to lie and cheat, rather than address our issues together with honesty, maturity, and mutual respect.
Your wife is a human being. It is unfair to expect the respect from her that you were unwilling to give.