Q&A Is Cheating Only Possible When He's Drunk?

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Hi Leslie and John,
My husband cheated on me at least 7 times (that he's admitted to) with one night stands. He was drunk during every incident. They were friends, coworkers and acquaintances, etc. They were not random people that he met at the bar that night. All of the women knew he was in a relationship.

I also discovered that often when he was drunk, he would send Facebook messages and texts to the women he had previously had one night stands with. He wouldn't write anything overtly sexual, but he would basically ask them to come meet up with him at a bar, or ask what they were up to and offer to go meet them. This was always around 12am-3am, while drunk. Essentially, they were "booty call" messages. Thankfully, none of these women responded to his drunken booty call messages, but just writing them is cheating in my book. 

He has been sober 6 months through AA, since the second D-Day. My husband claims that if he hadn't been drunk, he never would have cheated and never would have continued sending follow up booty call messages. He says he never would have been capable of cheating when sober. He says he never had compulsions to cheat when sober. He says that when drunk, he would get a "vibe" from a women and then pursue it, but also claims that every woman he cheated with threw herself at him. He believes that 95% of the reason for his acting out is alcohol. Do you believe him? Have you ever heard of someone only cheating when drunk?
I call B.S. I don't believe that he only cheated when drunk. I don't think alcohol was the only factor, it was the accelerant. I also don't believe that every woman threw herself at him. I think he was the pursuer and that he is just making excuses because he is an immature, selfish, ego maniac and alcoholic -- a 36 year old man with the mind of an 18 year old frat boy. What do you think?

P.S. We have done emso, harboring hope and hope for healing. 



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