Q&A Do You Agree It’s Necessary to Re-Establish No Contact?

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Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of discovery. Yesterday I found out that my husband recently reached out to his affair partner despite us having a clear agreement on no contact, he also lied about it repeatedly. He claims he sent her a text to apologize for a different text he had sent her in October. The message he sent in October was one he and I had written together in order to end contact. It took months for that to happen and I was very careful not to pressure him. Then he felt bad so he went behind my back and sent her a new message saying he was sorry for sending her that message, he was just trying to do the right thing. He told her he was sorry about everything, he still loves her very much and he doesn’t know when they will be able to talk again. I am devasted and feel like he has stabbed me in the heart.. I feel so violated, disrespected and really irrelevant. If he loves her that much, he should leave his marriage. But he’s still here and now I feel like all of our work to end contact has been erased because he has opened the door again. She called him after getting his message and thanked him, appreciated it, happy to hear something that sounded more like him. I feel like I am back to the beginning and now we need to establish no contact again with her in order for me to feel safe. This time I want it live and I want to hear him say it to her. Is that asking too much? Do you agree it’s necessary to re-establish no contact?



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