Q&A How Can I Ever Trust Again without Knowing the Full Truth?

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I'm struggling with moving past disclosure. I experienced trickle truth for 3 months, the last bomb coming at EMS weekend. My spouse has admitted to 2 years of extensive cheating before we were married, then no cheating until we had been married for 7-8 years. During the 7-8 years I found panties (that were not mine), an anonymous letter on our lawn, and prank phone calls for months. We had to sign papers that committed us to prosecuting whomever they caught and were told not to tell anyone about the tap. My husband says he didn't say anything to anyone and neither did I. I also notice a big change in his behavior toward me during that time period. The behavior was similar to his behavior during one of his year long affairs he has admitted to. I knew he was going to strip clubs once per week after work and looking at pornography during the 7-8 year time period, but I didn't think much about it at the time. He said there was nothing going on with anyone, and since I threw the letter and panties away there was no proof. He is adamant that nothing happened during 7-8 year time period, of course he has been adamant before, and lied. I don't believe him. He has agreed to take a polygraph, but I'm not sure he will. Could it be true that I am wrong, is that possible with and addict? From all I have learned and read about sex addiction it would be highly unlikely. I have surrendered these things to God over and over. I know I can not change the past, but without absolute truth I can't move on. I can't see myself ever trusting him again without that information.



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Thank you for your response

Thank you for your response and encouragement. My husband did take a polygraph this week and passed. I was very impressed with the examiner and his qualifications. He spent 2.5 + hours with us, making sure that we understood what he was doing and what the test was and was not. My husband felt encouraged and validated with passing the polygraph, and I feel like now I can turn the page without any lingering doubts.


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