Q&A How Can I Feel Safe after My Mates Relapse?

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Question: 

Three years ago I discovered my husband’s long term affair. We went through the EMS Online. We worked really hard to repair. It was terribly painful. After about two years we renewed our vows and celebrated by a trip to Hawaii. We were doing really well. That summer I was diagnosed with breast cancer. While I was recovering my husband relapsed for six months. He never actually contacted the affair partner but he sent her secret messages about where he was going to be. He went to all the places that were special to them hoping he would accidentally run into her, he drove by her work place, he fantasized about her, etc...This went on until I discovered a paper that he’d written all these things down on. I was devastated. During these six months he lied to me again and again about how he was doing and what he was doing. He claims all that is done now and that now he is doing well. How can I ever believe him? Am I crazy to stay with him? How can a person do this to another person that they say they love?

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