Q&A How Can I Get My Spouse to Understand What I Need?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 07/10/2019 - 09:32

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

Sometimes when I’m angry, flooding, or question my spouse, they get defensive and say that I shouldn’t be flooding. When this happens all I need is to be reassured and held. I so badly want someone to explain this concept to my spouse. My spouse causes the flooding to escalate which takes me to the lowest of lows and he decides the reassurance isn’t something that I need.

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

How can I help my husband understand my trauma

Submitted by [name hidden] on

My ex husband cheated on my which has caused me to be suffering from PTSD for over a decade now. I remarried about 4 1/2 yrs ago to a good man but unfortunately I don’t think my current husband understands what I go thru and he actually exarcebates my trauma more. He gets defensive and thinks I want to control him when I believe I am just looking to feel safe with him. We have been together for almost 10 yrs, married for 4 1/2 yrs . Done counseling but has not help. Something he does that drives me crazy is he walks away, leaves me and stonewalls because he says he does not like confrontation. So I feel abandoned.
I really want to heal and save my marriage.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

What to read next

Q&A How Do I Navigate Giving My Spouse Time to Show Effort?
Q&A How Do We Start over without Reviewing the Past?
Q&A Is it Normal for a Betrayed Spouse to have 180 Degree Turnaround?
Q&A Do We Need Marriage as a Foundation?
Q&A How Can We Find an Appropriate Couples Counselor?

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
Learn More
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas