My husband had a 25 year friendship with sporadic periods of benefits affair. He disclosed that she was privy to everything about our family's life and some of my very personal hangups due to early sexual abuse. She made sure she was the opposite of me sexually, requiring no tenderness or foreplay in order to copulate. She NEVER criticized or was upset with him. He admits it would make him angry that I could not respond in like manner and justified his cheating by rationalizing that I must not like sex. How do I get past the grief and humiliation of now knowing my most personal pain and day to day issues were disclosed with disregard for me and that it went on for most of my marriage? There was a stranger in my bed and my home with the permission to undermine, judge and have the upperhand. while I struggled to get through to him that we needed help. How can you even heal from this level of dishonor?

Rick's suggested resources:

• Forgive for Good by Frederic Luskin
• Stuck: How to Overcome Your Anger and Reclaim Your Life by Remy Diederich