Q&A How Can She Help Me Rebuild My Trust in Her?

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Question: 

What are some simple, easy things to do to rebuild trust? My wife's affair (her second one now) has completely decimated my ability to trust her. It has come pretty close to destroying my ability to trust _anyone_. She seems remorseful and dedicated to rebuilding. She is trying her best, I can see that. But I am having trouble extending trust. What can she do to help me, and thereby help our marriage?

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I always gave my wife the

I always gave my wife the 'benefit of the doubt'. That she was honest and committed to our marriage despite her shortfalls. That there was something deep in the past affecting her actions. I felt I needed to 'hang in there' for her. Love her above all else and that in the end that would help heal her. When I look back, it's seems she took advantage of that. My mistake. My trust was naivety. She knew what I needed to hear from her, and see her do, to gain my trust, while she played me like a violin. Dishonesty was the 'norm' for her. I didn't see it.