Rick, I have read in numerous places that unless the unfaithful understands why they cheated, they are more inclined to cheat again. If my husband doesn't have a full understanding of why he was able to do something that he claims he knew was wrong all along, and was not able to rationalize in any way, how can he say he won't do it again? His answers so far have been, "I was very stressed," "I was naive," "I was curious," "I was flawed," and they don't seem to answer a five-year-long affair. And without understanding this, I have found my own healing to be stuck, more than a year later. How important is the "why?" And does this make him more likely to lapse?