Q&A Isn't this Behavior a Red Flag for the Future?

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Before my husband and I were married, he was "courting me". Recently I read from old emails that he was also courting another woman at the same time. We have only been married 5 years so this happened 6 years ago. At the time he told me he wasn't being physical with other women, only dating to get to know them. After finding out about his affair a month ago he finally admitted he slept with the woman he had told me he was only getting to know. After re-reading emails he sent to both me and the woman, I see that the language of the emails is almost identical. He was pursing both of us at the same time. Even lying about the sex he had with her. I brought this up to him and he dodged it completely saying it wasn’t relevant at all and that it was the past and has nothing to do with the future or now. I can’t help but think that if he was able to lie and have sex outside of marriage before, isn’t his affair the same behavior? Shouldn't we look at our past sexual behavior as potential root causes?? He also claimed that he had sex with two women in one night while a young adult and never mentioned feeling guilt, remorse or anything-he mentioned it only as a fact. Wouldn’t this behavior also be a red flag for the future?



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