Q&A How Do I Address Her Readiness to Engage With Someone So Despicable Versus Her Resistance to Reconnect Intimately With Me?

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I am grappling with severe feelings of rejection and confusion due to the nature of my wife's affair and her current stance on our recovery efforts. She not only engaged in specific acts of intimacy with another man but did so eagerly and with passion—acts she has continually denied me throughout our 30 year relationship. This individual has since been revealed to engage in deeply reprehensible behaviors, yet she chose him over the integrity of our relationship. Now, as we attempt recovery, she claims that the boundaries I've set, intended to protect, and heal us, restrict her ability to find special ways for us to reconnect, that the EMS Online and Hope for Healing is taking up all her time and she does not have time for anything else. This feels like a further betrayal, as she found time for him but not for healing the damage she caused. How can we address these discrepancies in her behavior—her readiness to engage with someone so despicable versus her resistance to reconnect intimately with me? What steps can we take to discuss her claims of limited time due to these necessary boundaries, ensuring that our recovery process is balanced and leads to genuine healing?



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