Q&A How Do I Appropriately Describe What Is Happening to My Teenage Children?

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My husband and I participated in EMS Weekend, he did Hope for Healing, and I did Harboring Hope. The problem is he never came clean on his past; and now after about 7 years post-discovery of the first affair he told me that he “has to get rid of me” and needs a divorce. I feel quite certain he is in another affair now. Looking back, I see a clear pattern of repeated narcissistic abuse with me going through idealization, devaluation, and discard for another partner. His colleagues at work have the same behavior with the AP’s being “flying monkeys” for a group of 11 truly malignant narcissistic doctors who abuse their power at work and pull in more subservient affair partners by devaluing wives but boasting about their children. Without alienating affection, how do I appropriately describe this abnormal behavior to my three teenage sons all confused by Dad’s and his group’s behavior. How do I help them understand why Dad rejected the grace he was shown. I see that he has led a double life and isn’t the man they thought. Their trust also has been betrayed. What can I do for them now? I want them to choose a better marriage partner than I did and avoid abuse. How can they respect marriage when Dad modeled such a lack of respect for it and for their own mother? Any suggestions for my 3 sons?



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