Q&A How Do I Get to a Place Where I'm Not so Jaded?

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Question: 

My husband recently relapsed and we are 6 months into our 2nd round of recovery. We are both in individual counseling, as well as marriage counseling. He's also in several Castamonia and SA groups. (3-4 meetings a week at minimum.) We are signing up for the next round of the online coursework here as well. We recently had our full therapeutic disclosure, and no secrets were revealed as we had discussed everything, which was a positive. He recently took his polygraph and passed with flying colors. However, I am not nearly as excited or happy as I think I should be. He's elated and feels like a weight has been lifted, but I'm not thrilled. It's almost like I thought there'd be more secrets to come out, and when there wasn't I had this weird sense of disappointment. What is the deal with that? How do I get to a place where I'm not so jaded? I fell hard into recovery work the first time around and this time it's hard for me to support him as much as I did the first go round.

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This is how I feel

Thank you for your explanation. I’ve been feeling like I can’t go all in because I’m waiting for the next bomb. We haven’t done a formal therapist led disclosure and there has been no polygraph so I’ve been left to sort things out and of course it’s not getting me anywhere as I’m waiting and wondering. I feel exactly as you have described. I’ll bring this up with my therapist.

This is how I feel

Thank you for your explanation. I’ve been feeling like I can’t go all in because I’m waiting for the next bomb. We haven’t done a formal therapist led disclosure and there has been no polygraph so I’ve been left to sort things out and of course it’s not getting me anywhere as I’m waiting and wondering. I feel exactly as you have described. I’ll bring this up with my therapist.