Q&A How Do I Handle My Fear of Contact with the Affair Partner?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


Hello Rick! My husband and I are 1.5 yrs out from D day #1 and 1 year from the relapse (both with the same person). We attended an EMS weekend last Nov. and each are in individual therapy (I do EMDR), couples therapy and we attend our group calls regularly while also doing about 2-3 hours of "connection time" each week using the AR videos and articles. Just yesterday a book arrived addressed to my husband with no return address but global mail postage. His AP is now in another country with her family and, to my knowledge, there has been 0 contact since june 2016. My husband did not hide it and said he thought I got it for him. I was very suspicious and when I questioned him, he became very defensive and we had a pretty bad fight over it. He also suffers from PTSD from his time in service so we can be like gasoline in fire when triggered. Today he is very understanding and empathetic, but my fear is that due to the specific nature of the book and her even having our address, that there may be some kind of contact. How should I go about this? Thank you for everything you do, we appreciate it so much.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas