Q&A How Do I Know If My Mate Is Really Changing?

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Question: 

I can see my husband is overwhelmed with the amount of work he is realizing he needs to partake in to make himself healthy. He isn't just trying to learn how to be a safe husband with the opposite sex but he also struggles with lifelong drug addiction since his teen years that now as a 39-year-old man is emotionally stunted and immature. His behaviors and responses are that of teen and an addict. He struggles with manipulation, yelling, gas lighting, emotional abuse and several other unhealthy behaviors. I can see that he is trying to absorb and sort through the discovery of his actions but he is so overwhelmed and in some areas, he is still in denial. He attempts at making changes but even with all the work and effort at times I see him half attempting it all. I know it’s partly because we are doing too much at once and he is still coming to realize the magnitude of his problems. My question is, I see some change but there is so much to address its minuet. How do I measure if he's doing enough and If I can tell his heart is only half in the work where do I go from here? How do I know he not just wants to change but IS changing and not doing a "song and dance" to keep me?

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