There have been moments of progress but lately I, the betrayed spouse, have regressed to a point that is almost worse than when we started. Intrusive thoughts, obsessive fear of being hurt again, and panic attics. I also found a message on my husband's phone from the affair partner that said, "I love you more", most likely because he initiated the conversation. He has sworn and reassured me thousands of times that he will never lie and cheat again. If he is about to do so he will tell. I found this message just after he went into a heart procedure. After confronted me he admitted being in touch with her. He also says he can't handle my emotional states and this is why this happens. I am even more heartbroken and about to file for divorce. I still love him and he says he loves me. How do I make sense of all this?