Q&A What Consequences Should Follow Broken Boundaries?

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Hi Rick,
I'm having trouble distinguishing the difference between:

(1) boundaries to keep myself safe
(2) boundaries that provide consequences.
(I am the betrayed).

There are some articles or vlogs on the AR site that talk about tough love which I interpret as consequences, and if I'm not mistaken, I think the word consequences may have been used on the AR site (not sure though). For example, if an unfaithful keeps relapsing and contacts the AP, he has overstepped a boundary that was drawn by the betrayed spouse to keep her safe, and a consequence of that is that he needs to move out of the house. Or if the unfaithful keeps contacting the AP, then the betrayed can file divorce papers as a consequence of the broken boundary. So what is the difference between (1) and (2)? I told my unfaithful husband that a "consequence" of him overstepping a boundary is that he needed to move out. (The boundary is that I will no longer tolerate him lying to my face.) Doesn't each boundary we draw need to have the corresponding consequence? 




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This is such a great

This is such a great explanation. Thank you!

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