Q&A What Consequences Should Follow Broken Boundaries?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


Hi Rick,
I'm having trouble distinguishing the difference between:

(1) boundaries to keep myself safe
(2) boundaries that provide consequences.
(I am the betrayed).

There are some articles or vlogs on the AR site that talk about tough love which I interpret as consequences, and if I'm not mistaken, I think the word consequences may have been used on the AR site (not sure though). For example, if an unfaithful keeps relapsing and contacts the AP, he has overstepped a boundary that was drawn by the betrayed spouse to keep her safe, and a consequence of that is that he needs to move out of the house. Or if the unfaithful keeps contacting the AP, then the betrayed can file divorce papers as a consequence of the broken boundary. So what is the difference between (1) and (2)? I told my unfaithful husband that a "consequence" of him overstepping a boundary is that he needed to move out. (The boundary is that I will no longer tolerate him lying to my face.) Doesn't each boundary we draw need to have the corresponding consequence? 




RL_Media Type: