Hi Rick,
I'm having trouble distinguishing the difference between:

(1) boundaries to keep myself safe
vs.
(2) boundaries that provide consequences.
(I am the betrayed).

There are some articles or vlogs on the AR site that talk about tough love which I interpret as consequences, and if I'm not mistaken, I think the word consequences may have been used on the AR site (not sure though). For example, if an unfaithful keeps relapsing and contacts the AP, he has overstepped a boundary that was drawn by the betrayed spouse to keep her safe, and a consequence of that is that he needs to move out of the house. Or if the unfaithful keeps contacting the AP, then the betrayed can file divorce papers as a consequence of the broken boundary. So what is the difference between (1) and (2)? I told my unfaithful husband that a "consequence" of him overstepping a boundary is that he needed to move out. (The boundary is that I will no longer tolerate him lying to my face.) Doesn't each boundary we draw need to have the corresponding consequence? 

Thanks.