Q&A How Do I Respond to My Mate Not Making Me Feel Safe After an Affair?

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My husband went to counseling for 1 year plus with me and on his own. One of the things that was a huge obstacle for me is that he continues to go to a bar where he knows everyone and they know him, where he originally met his AP who is no longer a part of his life, but he goes because he is what our counselor labeled as "addicted to the bar scene". I have never been ok with it and it has caused us alot of problems and since that is where he met AP, it's even more problematic for me. I agreed to come back together when he gave it up and he kept away for about 9 mo. or so after we got back together but has taken it back up and has no plans or desires to give it up. I have heard it said that if the unfaithful partner is not willing to do what it takes to make their spouse feel safe, or attempt to anyway, then there is a problem. He will not go back to counseling nor to any type of wknd away, read any books, counsel with pastor, nothing. He still goes to church and a men's study group, and is fairly attentive, but this is where he is at. It's been 2 yrs and 9 mo. since affair. Any help?



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