Q&A Should I Demand My Mate Take a Polygraph?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 11/02/2016 - 10:31

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

Hi Rick, My husband (age 37) and I (age 35) are nine months from the 2nd dday, 10 months from the first dday. Together 12 years, married 1 year. The info that I got from the Affair Partners, the AP’s husband, and from phone forensics presented a very different picture than what he has told me regarding his infidelity. I have a sinking feeling that he still hasn't told me everything, and I want him to take a polygraph for my piece of mind. He refuses to take a polygraph. He says he would get divorced before he takes a polygraph. To me, that implies he has something to hide, and is incredibly upsetting. What do you think? We have done EMSO, HH and HFH. Thank you.

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

I'm confused about this

Submitted by [name hidden] on

I'm confused about this response.
How does one work on forgiveness, anger, fear and pain when the betrayer isn't willing to do whatever is necessary to reassure his wife that he has nothing left to hide? Refusing to take a polygraph seems like a huge red flag. Saying he would rather divorce than take one shifts the spotlight off of him and puts yet another burden on his wife. It seems like she has a very legitimate reason to believe that she has not gotten full disclosure, or that he may still be acting out.
It is next to impossible to shut that voice up, the one that comes from your gut, warning you of more danger to come. Obviously she does not feel safe, which is a huge hindrance to "working on herself."

I could not agree more,

Submitted by [name hidden] on

I could not agree more, lindam!!!! That woman needs to run, run, run!

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

What to read next

Q&A Am I Overreacting to Setbacks, and is it Too Soon to Move Home?
Q&A At what Point do I Move on?
Q&A Should I Allow my Husband to Move Back in?
Q&A After His Affairs, He Isn't Broken. Can We Heal?
Q&A Do We Need Marriage as a Foundation?

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
Learn More
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas