Q&A How Do I Move Forward Knowing I May Never Have Fulfilling Physical Intimacy with My Wife?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


I am having a difficult time with this week’s lessons in EMSO and HFH, Restoring Intimacy and Reconnecting respectively. My wife has an aversion to kissing, Vaginismus, and Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD), which can't be fixed with testosterone and estrogen or anything else apparently since we have tried almost everything. So where some spouses eventually may get desire for their mate in that way mine never will. On top of that my love language is physical touch and she doesn’t like that either, giving or receiving, unless it is static and does not tap, rub or squeeze. She has stated I need to be okay with that if we are going to stay together. I'm not okay with that and this week is not helping me want to stay together especially since she is pressuring me to get her a short term apartment. How do I move forward knowing I may never have fulfilling physical intimacy with my wife?



RL_Media Type: 

I'm having the same dilemma

I'm having the same dilemma except i'm the betrayed wife and my UH doesn't have any desire to connect sexually. He didn't have much desire before due to what he was doing in secret and how he felt about our marriage (even from the beginning). Now he's not sure if he should engage out of obligation because he doesn't think we are where we need to be for him to engage sexually. It all feels like a cop-out and manipulative in some ways. He wants to save our marriage but doesn't have much interest in including sex. It's very hurtful, confusing, and concerns me about our future. I do know that a sexless marriage is not for me and i'll have to walk if this can't be fixed. I'm praying God helps him to figure out why.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas