Q&A How Do People Heal from Betrayal?

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Question: 

I’m struggling. This Wednesday marks the one-year anniversary of my husband starting his first emotional affair. His second emotional affair was 7 months later. He is convinced that he “is fundamentally changed as a human being” and I do see changes in him. Here is my struggle - I keep falling short on how to stay and cope with this as a part of our marital history. Given this is anniversary week, I suspect that I am a little more sensitive. I can’t stop replaying every single detail of both affairs along with the lying and gaslighting that accompanied them. I keep waiting for the magic “numbing or acceptance” switch to flip, but it just won’t! I have read every book you’ve mentioned - including Stuck. How do people do this? Also, if we had to choose between doing EMSO together or each doing HH and H4H apart, what to you recommend?

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Thanks Rick

Thanks Rick
D-Day 1 was one year ago
D-Day 2 was five months ago
He is signed up for H4H starting on the 20th
I’m going to try for HH tomorrow

I should clarify that sign up

I should clarify that sign up for H4H was before we heard this and he is very eager to take it - which is a good thing!

What type of affair was it?

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