I’m struggling. This Wednesday marks the one-year anniversary of my husband starting his first emotional affair. His second emotional affair was 7 months later. He is convinced that he “is fundamentally changed as a human being” and I do see changes in him. Here is my struggle - I keep falling short on how to stay and cope with this as a part of our marital history. Given this is anniversary week, I suspect that I am a little more sensitive. I can’t stop replaying every single detail of both affairs along with the lying and gaslighting that accompanied them. I keep waiting for the magic “numbing or acceptance” switch to flip, but it just won’t! I have read every book you’ve mentioned - including Stuck. How do people do this? Also, if we had to choose between doing EMSO together or each doing HH and H4H apart, what to you recommend?