As a military/pilot wife, our relationship required extra trust and strength to survive long stretches apart. As the betrayed wife, I feel l have sacrificed so much, only to have my spouse have a year-long affair with a coworker while I cared for our young child alone. It was REALLY hard, I had no village, no help with the child and many times no husband for long stretches. It was lonely, isolating and sad, but I reminded myself "this too shall pass" to get through it, thinking that he sacrificed too.

Now I am in this place, where things were already sad, lonely and depressing, and NOW THIS on top of it, it doesn't feel hopeful.

I am 10 months from d-day, currently in M4L and yet, even going through EMSO my spouse and I were not together physically due to his job. Unable to have face to face discussions of the homework, and I have almost no time child free. We have had 1.5 days together (Easter) over what will be 10 week stretch of him away from home, and we fought about his parenting techniques. It’s starting to feel toxic, and we can't connect or create positive moments because we never see each other. Everything feels negative.

I suffer alone, I cry alone, I am grieving and trying to heal from this alone. How can we do the work the way it is meant to be done when we never see each other?