Q&A How Do We Handle My Husband Feeling Controlled?

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Question: 

My husband recently had a two year affair with a coworker. There was also another incident with a coworker early in our marriage, about 17 years ago. One of the problems we are having is that the things that trigger my husband are some of the things that I need to help me heal. My husband has told me that he has been deeply hurt in our marriage by my manipulative and controlling behavior. So, my asking for accountability measures such as computer access, phones, tracking, asking him to check in with me via texts, pictures, etc., makes him feel controlled and it is hurtful for him. How do we navigate this issue?

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